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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Honesty

I understand that healing requires honesty.  This can be scary at first but it starts with just learning how to be honest with yourself.  So when you think about it honesty isn't really scary at all.  Everyday I get better as I practice this unique form of self love.  If I notice that I am attempting to fool myself I put a stop to it as quickly as I can. 
The funny thing is now that I am practicing honesty towards myself I find that the slings and arrows from not being accepted by others just doesn't matter as much to me as it used to.  I feel at peace when I am in my company instead of discomforted.  At this stage I seem to enjoy my own company and the companionship of wildlife and pets because I don't feel any pressure to entertain, explain myself  or be liked as I do when around other people. 
 I resisted and resented spending time alone for many years because I felt as if it was a strange and unloving way to be.  Quite truthfully in the beginning I was forced to be alone due to loved ones shunning my presence which really hurt at first.  As time went on I began to feel relieved rather than hurt.  I feared becoming a hermit but now I am am learning to embrace my hermit like tendencies. 


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