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Friday, May 31, 2013

Understanding Anger

Like it or not at some point we will feel angry.  Even the nicest, sweetest person gets angry so I am convinced that we just have to learn how to make it work for us.  For me I am finding that I can put my anger into my dancing and it doesn't hurt anyone including myself.  My mouth is silent but my body is giving my emotion voice.

Do You Ever

Do you ever like something that you don't want to like.  You know you shouldn't like it because it is a bit ridiculous but you find yourself liking it anyway.  Lol that is how I feel about this song!  I have not been in the most pleasant mood lately and have found myself wanting to dance to this song.  Lol my angry dance song!
Found myself really putting all of my aggression that I feel into my dancing.  At dance class I was actually told that it was okay to smile and not have such a deeply penetrating look on my face.  Lol I find this hilarious because I am known for always smiling so you know I am going through some heavy emotion if I am not smiling.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

My Thoughts On Conscious Climax or Thinking Yourself to Orgasm

First of all I do not in any way feel that thinking yourself to orgasm is a substitute to having sex with someone you love.
However, I do feel that it is worth trying if you are not married or if you are choosing to not be sexually active.
I perceive thinking yourself to orgasm as just merely a different type of sexual experience and not a substitute for sex with someone you love.  Of course it won't be the same as touching someone else or being touched. 
However, just because something is different it doesn't mean it isn't pleasurable.

Conscious Climax-How To Think Yourself To Orgasm

I Find This Extremely Interesting


Healing is Not Always A Straight Line

I am healing and creating a lot of changes in the way I do and see things.  However,  healing isn't always a straight line.
All week I have done nothing but ingest sugar.  I know it is not good for me and yet here I go still eating it.
The definition of insanity!

Song For The Day

It makes absolutely no sense because I don't even have a man but for some reason this song is on my mind today :) oldie but goodie

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Sex and Chemicals in the Brain...Personality+Casual Sex


What Happens To Women When They Have Sex With A Man-Why Is It Important To Know


Perception

So here I am today wondering and seriously contemplating why I continue to find myself in similar situations over and over again.
I begged God to show me the part I was playing, to show me where I am going wrong.

The revelation...
When I receive a blessing or meet someone I like, admire, etc. I hype it up to the fullest extent.  I build up the situation as if I were on a mountaintop.  I do this before I even know what the reality of the situation will be.  In other words I make too much out of it.  I put people on a pedestal, I make the situation or person my "savior"
In doing this and perceiving things in this way I have no choice but to eventually be devastated by disappointment.  Build anything up to be something it is not and it will have no choice but to fall.
My problem is not that I am negative it is that I am POSITIVE to the point of being unrealistic!
When I receive a blessing I need to be grateful for it and wait to see what it is all about instead of building it up in my head to be something it is not!  When I meet a person I need to really invest in getting to know and understand them before I build up what they are or aren't in my head.
Time and observation will reveal what someone or something is going to be in my life.

 

The Hidden Blessing Of Standing Firm

I have discovered that there is a hidden blessing to making a decision and standing firm.  Sometimes there are things that need to be decided with absolutely no thoughts of compromise.  Paradoxically there are some decisions that need to be made whilst understanding that compromise is a possibility.  For this blog post I am speaking of the hidden blessing of standing firm on a decision and blocking off any thoughts of compromise as to what has been decided.
When you are wishy washy about everything there is constant confusion.  You aren't sure what to do about this, you are unsure what to do about that.  Constant thoughts of "Am I making the right decision?"  However, if you decide that there are some major things in your life that you need to make a decision about and stick to it suddenly there is all this free space in your thoughts because you no longer have to wrestle or worry about what you are going to do.  You have already decided what you are going to do or not do in this particular area so now you can think about and tinker with other areas in your life.
For example, let's say someone has decided that they don't want to drink alcohol anymore.  In the past they have been wishy washy about it, somedays saying yes somedays saying no.  Sometimes they hang out at the bar, maybe they drink a juice but they are still hanging out at the bar.  Sometimes they are strong enough to just have the juice and other days they decide gin and juice is what they really want so they indulge.
Since they realize that hanging at the bar means they are much more likely to have the drink then at some point they may choose to make a decision with no compromise.  They may decide"Absolutely under no circumstance will I step into a bar, I don't care who invites me, I don't care if my brother's party is going to be there, I don't care what friends I lose, I don't care if others call me weak etc."
After this decision has been made, their thought life becomes easier because they no longer have to wrestle with this particular decision.  They no longer have to wonder should I or shouldn't I because they have decided that it is in their best interest to not go to the bar period.  No discussion, no contemplation because the answer is NO.
Now all that time they spent focusing on this area can be spent elsewhere.  Perhaps they will now contemplate life or take up a new hobby such as cooking etc.  Who knows what they will decide but the point is that they have freed up some energy in one place in order to be able to focus it elsewhere.
That freedom of energy is the hidden blessing of standing firm on certain decisions that you make in your life.
Knowing this and practicing this will allow the healing spirit to work harder and stronger in our lives.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

POM



Wow Samson and Delilah Like I Have Never Heard It Before!


Paradigm Shift

Love how he explains what a paradigm shift is.  This is the first time I have heard someone explain how the bible teaches us about paradigm shifts.


Yesterday I Went Backwards

Little Things Heal

Like the feeling of happiness I got from my sister sending me clothes and this beautiful red purse!

Odd Cloud Formation

How The Ancient Hebrews Viewed Your Name

So True It Gives Me Chills

"Don't put your trust in people because the same person that says Hosana today will say crucify him tomorrow"  People are unpredictable :)











http://youtu.be/HwZyzWTz4cA

Love Has No Loopholes-Sermon

Remember

Psalms 139:8

Viewing the King James Version. Click to switch to 1611 King James Version of Psalms 139:8.

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.


- King James Bible "Authorized Version", Cambridge Edition

Monday, May 27, 2013

Song For The Day

Do you ever just get tired of fighting?  Sometimes I just want something to come easily and feel right.   Fighting for things all the time is exhausting.  I wonder what would happen if I just stopped fighting?



I enjoyed Reading This

Monday, May 20, 2013

Sorry




Then and Now-A Lifetime Of Unhealthy Relationship WIth Food


This picture was always a big laugh for us because my papaw had given me some wrigley's gum the night before and if it weren't so blurry you would see that I am proudly chewing it - that is why my smile is crooked.  Who would have known that the gum we all loved could have been full of aspartame.  Not sure if it was then but it is full of aspartame nowadays.


Cheer days.  I have always been enthusiastic about cheering for others to win :) Please excuse the pic quality.


Me cleverly hiding the rest of my body because I didn't like the way it looked in my dress.


I love my body, I truly do.  However, I am aware that in order for it to be at it's best there are still so many changes for me to make!  It is harder for me than what many may realize.

Walk Against Monsanto May 25, 2013-Everywhere

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Sugar


Question of the Day

Why do I constantly confuse the words holograph and hologram?

A Piece of the Purpose Puzzle

Looking back I can see how part of my purpose of being here was shamed out of me-it didn't work though.  What do I mean by this?

As a child a person I was close to took me to a Halloween themed haunted walk that was being held in the basement of a church.  First of all, how is that even sane in a church?  Anyways, that is another subject for another blog post, another time.

So I was always asking to do things that deep down I was terrified to do and then once in the situation I couldn't handle it.  So yes I was very, very scared but happy to be getting all the free candy they were passing out.  At some point a lady dressed as a witch handed me a popcorn ball and for whatever reason I had a moment of clarity right then and there.

So I stood there in front of everyone and started crying and yelling.  I told them they were poisoning everybody.  When my loved one out of humiliation tried to drag me out of there I began to resist and screamed at the top of my lungs that, "You are all evil and you are trying to make me evil too."  I threw the candied popcorn ball and told them, "I don't want your poison."

Keep in mind I was only 8 so it wasn't that hard to finally get me out of there against my will.  Once in the car my loved one furiously asked me why I acted that way.  Truthfully I was just as stunned as she was and I really couldn't give an explanation except to say, "Something just came over me and I had to tell people."

I was reprimanded and shamed for acting the way I did.  I was told that I wasn't right in the head.  I was told that I was an embarrassment.  I believed what I was told for many years.

Now here I am again at 37 warning people again and learning how to ween myself off of the poisonous foods that I have been consuming for years. 

Natural Anxiety Relief

Many are affected by anxiety of all different sorts.  This condition can be extremely disruptive to your life.
Of course it is very important to be introspective and get to the root causes of why your anxiety persists.  However, while working through these issues you may need extra help.
Best to go natural rather than making yourself worse by ingesting poisonous medications that will eventually enslave you.
Here are some links...
 http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/conditionsatod/a/Anxiety.htm
http://www.livestrong.com/article/93395-natural-antianxiety-herbs/
http://voices.yahoo.com/natural-anti-anxiety-options-10932212.html?cat=5

Also look up techniques to deal with anxiety such as breathing exercises etc.  Also, it helps to talk with friends or loved ones-make sure you choose the ones that can handle it ;)

Also, I started paying close attention to what I was watching on tv, movies etc.-if I noticed I was feeling fearful or anxious I stopped watching those things.  This can make a huge difference!

Say No To Products That Contain Aspartame

If you are ingesting any product that contains aspartame package it up and send it back to the company demanding your money back-  write the company a letter stating that you do not appreciate paying them  to slowly poison you!


Saturday, May 18, 2013

Another one of my Faves

I love this sermon!  It starts off so so and a little confusing but then takes a u turn into some of the most profound lessons that I have ever heard.

http://youtu.be/shKJwm1AGfY
http://youtu.be/iYjDoFXhtSA
http://youtu.be/dNyB3RUjJ-I
http://youtu.be/m6koqbXzygo

Roots

The truth is that if I don't continually root myself in my creator's word I completely unravel.  I make stupid decisions due to fears and anxieties.
I prefer myself rooted to my creator.  I prefer myself rooted to the salvation I receive from accepting the healing blood of Yeshua.
I know there are many who scoff at me however, I feel that this is the one and only place where I am given roots.  I find trust and hope in the word.  Without it I am left flailing around in the vastness of space where anything goes.  What they forget to tell you is that when anything goes that means there is no value in anything.  So no thanks!
I continually research the word to come to a true understanding because there are so many who do not understand or teach the word correctly.  If something doesn't make sense or ring true I just research and pray about it until it does.
I am so very grateful to others who do the same and really seek to know and understand the word.
I may end up revealing some of my bible research on this blog as well-I haven't decided yet.  Just let me tell you though...The word when read and understood the way it was intended absolutely transforms me.
I've been messing up a lot lately :) however, I see my error and am ready to get back on track.

Vitamin C + Killing Cancer

Alkalizing Your Body


 
 
Here is a link to a chart that list alkalizing and acidifying foods...

Turmeric-Indian Spice-Health Benefits

Vegan Jello

I so enjoy jello however was appalled when I learned what gelatin consisted of !
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatin

So I am really excited to try Manjula's recipe for vegan jello :)  I'm not vegan however, I really do try not to consume pork.  Every once in awhile I will consume it, such as if I am a guest and it is offered to me but overall I steer clear of it.
 

Check out her recipe...



Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Oak Creek Crossing-Sedona Arizona

Today a friend of mine took me to Oak Creek.  We went in through a back way which is unknown to tourists.  It was a very relaxing walk and yet I still felt well exercised afterwards.
We relaxed by the creek for awhile and soaked in the sun while dipping our feet into the creek water.  There were several people around and it seemed that everyone was just in an overall pleasant state of mind.
I really enjoyed myself here and I will definitely do this walk again.
I found this pic on the internet just to give you an idea of where I was.  This is not my picture-I did not take my phone or a camera with me.  I wasn't in this exact spot but I was in the vicinity.
Next time it is likely that I will take my camera with me.



Monday, May 13, 2013


Learning How To Communicate With My Body

I don't know but at first this seemed scary to me-wrong, like I was doing something that God wouldn't approve of because it wasn't discussed in the bible.  The truth is that learning to understand yourself is discussed in the bible because the messiah is quoted as saying "The kingdom of heaven is within you."

I learn the truth that I am able to learn from different sources and I leave the rest of it behind.  So although I might not agree with every aspect of genome healing there is still quite a bit I can accept and learn from it.


Sunday, May 12, 2013

You Are Not Doing Anyone Any Favors

I mean really, just think about it.  If you lie to yourself and others about what you are comfortable involving yourself in it doesn't help you or the people you are in relationships with.  Resentment builds and it is a living breathing energy that whether consciously or subconsciously that person is affected by it.  You may feel like you are getting the crappy end of the deal but the reality is that everyone involved is being dis-serviced.  Sad when you think about it like that huh?  Really, really sad.


Setting Boundaries That Nourish My Soul

If we know what is upsetting to us why do we lie and try to pretend that we are ok with things that we obviously are not ok with?
I have been asking myself this a lot lately because really at my age and there is just really no excuse whatsoever for deluding myself.
Today I sat down and figured out some boundaries for myself.  I have made the decision that these are things I am absolutely not willing to compromise on.
I feel no need to tell anyone what these boundaries are as they are personal to myself.  However, from this point on these boundaries will determine who gets my time and attention.
I am ready to really enjoy my life.
I am ready to heal this part of my life that I have been avoiding and not taking responsibility for.

Song For Today

; People like me

Mom and I -Many Years Ago

          Me clinging to my mom like a like a little monkey :)





Thursday, May 9, 2013

Song for Today


Passionate People


http://treasuresofheaven.hubpages.com/hub/10-Characteristics-Of-Passionate-People
Ten Characteristics of the Passionate:
  1. Expressive.
  2. Focused.
  3. Independent Thinker.
  4. Learner.
  5. Love their job/work.
  6. Perseverance.
  7. Productive.
  8. Risk-taker.
  9. Skillful.
  10. Strong-willed

Passion










Does anyone else remember these days :) such passion



What a Day

I am serious when I say that drinking effects me in weird ways.  A couple of days ago I went out with a friend and had a few drinks over the span of an 8 hour period.  So divide 8 by 3 and that would equal one drink every 2.67 hours.  Definitely not what would be considered over drinking but...the next day I felt like total crap and now it is the day after the next day and I still don't feel right but am getting better.
It just really confirmed for me that drinking alcohol regularly could never really be part of my lifestyle.
Today, I am literally craving junk food.  I almost caved in and drank a pop which would have been disappointing because it has been awhile since I drank one.  However, I did cave in and eat junk food so not sure if that is any better than pop drinking but wow what a day.
I am still ridiculously sleepy after sleeping 8 hours and thought to myself, "All this over having a few drinks, weird."  This is not normal.
This little ad always cracks me up when it pops up on sites cause this lady totally looks like me.
 

More Humor


A Little Humor


Monday, May 6, 2013

Too Funny


Jolt

Do you ever see something or hear something that just totally gives you a jolt and you feel it's meaning deeply?  Such a thing happened to me today.  I wasn't expecting it and it cut me to the core so much I teared up a little.
I'll share it with you...

Cancer and Diet


LATEST CANCER INFORMATION
from Johns Hopkins

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY …


1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.


11. An effective way to battle cancer is to STARVE the cancer cells by not feeding it with foods it needs to multiple.

What cancer cells feed on:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Note: Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.


b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells will starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.

To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water--best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines will become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.

Anger, unforgiving and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

(PLEASE SHARE IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT)
LATEST CANCER INFORMATION
from Johns Hopkins

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY …


1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.


11. An effective way to battle cancer is to STARVE the cancer cells by not feeding it with foods it needs to multiple.

What cancer cells feed on:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Note: Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.


b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells will starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.

To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water--best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines will become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.

Anger, unforgiving and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

Still Love This Song


Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood


Relieved-Edited

So relieved I am finally finished for the semester -Exhale !

Honestly there was so many times I almost quit this semester because I just couldn't motivate myself.  If it weren't for my creator and the encouragement of my friend (you know who you are) I would have given up.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Are You A Target




Dodging A Bullet

Dodging A Bullet

I want to speak about this because I truly feel that I dodged a bullet several days ago and maybe this will help someone else to do the same.  I will not tell specifics but I will tell enough so that you can understand my point.
A few days ago I met a guy.  He was quite charming, clean cut, muscular body and he smiled a lot.  He seemed all in all a very nice guy.
I really didn't have an attraction to him but I also didn't not have an attraction because my mind just wasn't even thinking about that when we met.  I do remember watching him while he talked and thinking to myself that he was really handsome but no feelings of attraction were present that I can remember.
So we talked a little and all seemed well and good.  No major conversation just a little friendly small talk.  At no point did I flirt with him or hint at any type of interest.  I was just polite and friendly as I would be to anyone I just met.
All was going well until...
At some point this man recognized that there was something I needed.  I will not go into what it was but please know I never discussed it with him or hinted that I needed anything.  Well out of the blue he offers to provide this thing that I needed.
Wow what a sweetheart right ?  I was extremely surprised and happy and politely thanked him and told him that was very nice of him.  Then immediately after I said thank you I then said, " You know I really appreciate your offer but I can't accept it.  Thank You so much though that is kind of you to offer."
So no big deal right?  Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  His whole attitude changed and he immediately began to speak to me very rudely and disrespectful.  He also displayed some very crude behavior and basically treated me like a piece of crap.
My mind was kind of in a whirlwind because it all happened so suddenly.  I didn't really react to him at all because I was so confused. I was left just kind of standing there feeling bruised like "what just happened."
However, once it was all over and I had some time to think I realized that I had just escaped him manipulating me and that was what pissed him off so bad!  He was trying to put me in a position of dependency so that he could dominate me from the very start and when I refused that position he didn't like it and had no use for me whatsoever.
I am so thankful that I didn't become involved with this person in any way at all!  I am just so thankful that I somehow dodged this bullet because I didn't even do it on purpose.  I just have this feeling that if I would have said yes to his offer he would have come into my life and completely taken over and I would have not even seen it coming before it was too late. 


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