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Monday, July 28, 2014

This Is It

How is it possible to narrow all the choices down to one favorite movie scene when there are so many to choose from?
I have done it though. This is definitely my all time favorite movie scene.

Control

Whenever too many things are happening in my life that are out of my control (which is quite often) I take my control back if possible.
How?
Rather than focusing on what is out of my control I choose things that I have complete say so over and put my attention only on them.
For example, I have a lot going on right now so tonight I completely rearranged my closet and organized my bedroom a bit.
3 glorious hours of only being focused on this activity gave my mind a much needed break from my troubles.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Thoughts About This Quote

I thought about this quote for a bit...

I decided that yes this is true.  It doesn't seem like that big of a statement until you really think about it for a bit.
How many friends do you have that actually still love you when you stop feeling things that you have always felt or start feeling things that you have never felt before in their presence?
Will they still love you if you aren't exhibiting any loving feelings towards them? What if u are feeling like you can't relate to them or that you don't like them or want to be around them anymore? Will they accept the way you feel and still love you?
Will the friendship survive, will the love remain through disinterest, hurt,seperation etc?
There have been very few people in my life who have actually just accepted me despite whatever I am feeling or not feeling. 
Obviously most people can handle my nice side but cannot or will not survive my mean/cold side. It's all good as long as I am smiling and telling them they are the best but the minute I pull back and feel a negative emotion or feel a lack of warmth towards them that was once there, all crumbles.
My cold side is just as intense as my warm side. When I feel I really feel and I allow myself the freedom to feel all my emotions rather than just a select few.  
 I cherish those moments and those people that love me through it all no matter what.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Unknown Reasons

Sometimes an event will happen that causes me to be brought into that mental and spiritual space that I would describe as The Humbling.
Just when I think I am pathetic, useless and don't have any real and lasting effect on those around me an event will happen that causes me to re-think it all.
The described event in which I am speaking of causes me to feel as if I am meant to be exactly where I am at at that exact time.
When I experience this I always feel humbled as well as completely mind blown at the same time.
I had an event like this happen to me last night.
I am going to write of it in my personal memoirs so that I will never forget it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

A New Favorite

I recently heard this song and adored it instantly.
I am so impressed with the purity.
The ultimate feel good, fall in sweetly innocent love song :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Blind Obedience

I feel that part of the healing process requires us to question everything.
Who are you obedient to and why?

Friday, July 11, 2014

love it


Depression Again I Thought I Was Over It

I noticed a few days ago that I had let myself slip into depression again.  I believe this is because I have gotten out of my self discipline routines.
I moved recently so I am out of my regular environment which means I completely dismissed all of my regular routines.
Sometimes dismissing routine can be good for me but not so much when these were what was helping me feel healthier.
I feel this overwhelming need to get everything back on track but the depression and sickness I am feeling hinders me from taking the actions I need to take.
I feel like starting to write in this blog again just might be the first step towards not accepting this depression back into my life.