Tuesday, July 30, 2013


It is one thing to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about you. It feels good sometimes but most of the time feels obviously one sided.
However, it is an entirely different experience to fall in love with someone who is falling in love with you at the same time. 
My whole world has been remodeled. My entire perspective is changing without any efforts of my own doing.
It is as if I am living on an entirely different planet and yet I haven't physically moved anywhere.

Steel Magnolias

I would rather have 30 minutes of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
Steel Magnolias

Monday, July 29, 2013


Oh how I love words, I fall for them every time...


Heart of A Poet



The Heart Of A Poet

Show Me A Place Where Poets Abide...

And I'll Show You A Place Where No One Hides.

Where Once Remained Hidden, In The Heart Of Mankind

All Is Exposed, And Easy To Find.

The Heart Of The Poet, Is A Heart Without Doors

And A Poet Without Words

Is Like A Boat Without Oars.

Come Now And Take

This Journey With Me

And I Shall Promise

To Set Our Hearts Free.


Used By Permission
Copyright ©  Thomas E. Cassick
All Rights Reserved




I'm Not Anti Social

Friday, July 26, 2013



Song for Today



You just never know when or where u r going to meet a healer.
Today I was just feeling so low and beat down and ugly.
I hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror and I was crying about it.
Anyways, I went to get my hair trimmed cause it was so frizzy and gross looking.
The lady who did my hair, her name was Lupe.
She must have seen my thoughts in my eyes cause she treated me so unbelievably well!
She fussed and fussed over my hair saying she knew why I wanted her to be the one to cut my hair :)
I never said anything to her about my self esteem issues but she just played in my hair like a little grandma and told me how beautiful my hair was.
Then she said, "you don't ever let anybody intimidate you sweetie, they cannot imitate your hair even if they tried, you have beautiful hair."
All day I had been focused on all my negative qualities but by the time she finished trimming my hair I was smiling, feeling better and focusing on my positive qualities.
She gave me a hug before I left :) 
I knew she knew that I had really needed that hair therapy :)
My frizzy dead ends are now gone and my curls are back cause I cut 4 inches off, so my curls are not being pulled out by my hair's weight.
I love mu curls!
Thank You Lupe, you are a true healer.

My Kind Of Anti Depressant

So Thankful I Learned This Early


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Ruach HaKodesh

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26 (NIV)

Saturday, July 20, 2013

What Is A Blood Covenant

So I am now dating the man I chose to give my virginity to all those years ago.
I noticed how easily I am able to revisit my feelings towards him almost as if we are picking up where we left off.
So I began to get curious about the bond you share with the person who "deflowers" you.
I found this article and enjoyed it because it is in line with the bible.

Alright now you know what being a virgin is and what its not, well not like you didn't know before but this article has addressed that and we want to move on to the next thing which is what happens when you lose your virginity perhaps the statement should be what goes while you are loosing your virginity, whichever one you want to choose lets just get right on to it.
You can lose your virginity only once and the truth is i don't like the use of the statement "lose your virginity", the whole process should not be a loss it is a gift which you should give to the right person, but when the wrong person gets then it becomes a loss. the body of a woman is so designed and crafted such that one would say God took time with them, the hymen that a woman is a seal like every new product comes with a seal, a tamper proof which when its no longer there it becomes dangerous to buy such a product, imagine you going to buy a pack of drugs and its already opened with no seal or you buy a new car and you don't find nylon still over the seats and all that will you drive it home?
Note am not saying don't marry a lady because she is not a virgin, that's not the point the point is only one person can deflower a woman and what happens at that point when that breaks the hymen and blood comes out is that he forms a blood covenant with her and a very strong bond is immediately initiated between she and that person, which explains why a lot of times ladies are very attached to the one man that deflowers them no matter how terrible such a person is, its the bond, the bond formed in blood and which is always very difficult to break.
The summary is the process of being deflowered is a covenant process that should be giving to only one man and that's the man you are married to, such a bond is reserved solely for the man whom you are married to, be careful whom you give your virginity to so that it doesn't turn out a loss, you are not supposed to lose your virginity, it should be a gift to the one man you marry.

thank you

Friday, July 12, 2013


Sometimes I feel as if I have changed so much and then on evenings such as this I recognize those parts of myself that are eternal.
Today my Arizona town was given a wonderful storm.  My cat and I really enjoyed it.
So this evening while the raindrops were still resting on the shrubs I walked down to the pool.
Swimming is and has always been one of my favorite things to do.
Swimming at night increases my pleasure in a way I can't explain.
The clouds had moved on to another town and I was able to swim underneath a clear starry sky while the trees kept close watch over me.
A perfect night.  Thank You so much Father .

Finally I Understand This

It took 38 years but I finally understand this :) just think about it...

Turn It Off

Don't let the courtroom decision and media be in control of whether or not there is a riot!  That is crazy!
Why should these corporations make money from the death of Trayvonn Martin.
Protest by turning your tv off.  Hit them where it hurts.... Their money!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Sometimes Truth Makes Me Laugh

Listen to this guy telling it like it is.  Guys do this too.  


Lol someone on Facebook shared this pic of a letter written by a child.
I had to laugh cause this is so me!


Today a weird thing happened...
I was contacted by someone I dated when I was 14 years old.
Someone who used me, treated me like garbage and then basically discarded me and ignored me repeatedly.
I forgive him but do not want to be involved again.
This is my song for the day, a little comedic relief...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

What A Sick Person Wants Others To Know And Understand

I am sick.  Don't tell me to be positive because I try too everyday.  I try so hard to be positive that it is exhausting.
Just because I have makeup on and my hair done and I look healthy it does not mean that I am.  It simply means that I am trying everything in my power to not look like I am sick.  Why would I want everyone staring at me and knowing I am sick.
I have good days and bad days.  On my good days I laugh and smile and want to go do things with others.  I seem extremely alive and healthy on my good days because I am.  This is my true self coming out when it is not overshadowed by illness.
On my bad days I keep to myself because I don't want to drag anybody else down.  I don't feel like doing anything and I don't want to ruin someone else's opportunities.
I am not pretending or trying to get attention.  I am sick!
Also pretending to be healthy exhausts me so it is usually best to be alone.
Of course deep down what I long for is a husband or friend or both  to be there with me who doesn't expect me to act healthy on days when I am sick.  Someone who is okay with me just being myself and resting and me not having to worry about entertaining them so that they are not bored.  Someone who doesn't take me being sick as a personal attack on themselves.  Someone strong enough to do their own thing when I can't do it with them. Yet someone loving enough to remember that in a day or two I will have a good day or maybe even a good week :)
This is what I long for but until I find this I just find it easier and less exhausting
 to just be alone .
This way I am not letting anyone down, holding anybody back or nor am I exhausting myself.


I am currently learning to make my own sun catcher.
It is quite therapeutic because I have chosen to use glass as my medium.
So that means that I get to use a hammer to bust and crush.  Also, it is fun to throw glass and let it bust into all those  pieces.
The broken glass reminds me of my emotional and mental world, Bright and beautiful colors that have been shattered. However, now these broken pieces are being arranged to become something different and enjoyable to my life.
I know when the sun hits this it is going to look so alive.