Sunday, May 19, 2013

A Piece of the Purpose Puzzle

Looking back I can see how part of my purpose of being here was shamed out of me-it didn't work though.  What do I mean by this?

As a child a person I was close to took me to a Halloween themed haunted walk that was being held in the basement of a church.  First of all, how is that even sane in a church?  Anyways, that is another subject for another blog post, another time.

So I was always asking to do things that deep down I was terrified to do and then once in the situation I couldn't handle it.  So yes I was very, very scared but happy to be getting all the free candy they were passing out.  At some point a lady dressed as a witch handed me a popcorn ball and for whatever reason I had a moment of clarity right then and there.

So I stood there in front of everyone and started crying and yelling.  I told them they were poisoning everybody.  When my loved one out of humiliation tried to drag me out of there I began to resist and screamed at the top of my lungs that, "You are all evil and you are trying to make me evil too."  I threw the candied popcorn ball and told them, "I don't want your poison."

Keep in mind I was only 8 so it wasn't that hard to finally get me out of there against my will.  Once in the car my loved one furiously asked me why I acted that way.  Truthfully I was just as stunned as she was and I really couldn't give an explanation except to say, "Something just came over me and I had to tell people."

I was reprimanded and shamed for acting the way I did.  I was told that I wasn't right in the head.  I was told that I was an embarrassment.  I believed what I was told for many years.

Now here I am again at 37 warning people again and learning how to ween myself off of the poisonous foods that I have been consuming for years. 

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